Thursday, 17 April 2014

Colonel Tan's

229 Chapel St 
Prahran, VIC 3181

Sometimes I wonder how non-Melbournians see my beloved city. There are so many things – the rattling trams, the tiny coffee shops, the street performers in drag – that I barely even notice; then I see the tourists stopping and staring with their cameras out, and I realise – Melbourne is one hell of a unique city. 

Until you see the menu, Colonel Tan’s could be anything. Walking up the steep stairs, the velvet curtains could easily be pulled apart to reveal a burlesque house. Then you reach the top and see the local band setting up for their gig in the fenced-off band room, and the place suddenly becomes more like an abandoned factory where the kids go to strum their guitars. Finally, you turn the corner and reach the actual restaurant, a lounge filled with a chimerical clutter of pinball machines, a dozen chandeliers, and broken (or not) children’s rides. Not a single piece of the furniture matched, and the squashy couches weren’t even of the op-shop variety; more salvage pieces from the curb. Yep, we’re in Melbourne. 

Colonel Tan’s is run by the brains behind Cookie, and the similarities are plain to see – the same modernised Thai menu, intimidating drinks list, and patrons lining up out the door once dinnertime hit. The vibe at Colonel Tan’s is a more casual one though; instead of being a wine bar that targeted the after-work cocktail crowd, this is more of a hip young person sort of place, where the live music starts before night falls. And according to Chris, provides information in the bathroom on what to do in the event that you buy fake LSD. Gnarly. 

Service is casual, but errs just on the right side of inattentive. But so long as they keep filling up my glass with delicious fruit-infused water, I don’t care what they do, provided they don’t poison my food.

Deep Fried Chilli Squid and Sweet Chilli Sauce ($12.5)

Chris liked the Deep Fried Chilli Squid and Sweet Chilli Sauce ($12.5), but I didn’t so much. I thought that it tasted incredibly bland, and though it was deep fried as promised, there was no crunch, and the batter left a film of grease in the mouth. The squid was decently fresh though, and Chris enjoyed the subtle taste. 

Green Chicken Curry with Rice and Salted Egg Salad ($16.5)

The Green Chicken Curry with Rice and Salted Egg Salad ($16.5) was much better received by both of us. Though subtle, the curry sauce was fragrant and creamy, its aroma translating well to the generous chunks of chicken. Better still was the wickedly sour relish with chunks of salted egg, contrasting magnificently with the mild sweetness of the curry.

Bangkok Bolognaise ($16.5)

But the star of the night was the Bangkok Bolognaise ($16.5), which as another blogger wittily pointed out, sounds more like an exotic STI. Moving away from that repulsive fact, this is a cracker of a fusion dish. Taking the most famous noodles recipes from Italy and Thailand respectively, we were served up a plate of flat rice noodles like you would find in Pad Thai, buried under a spicy Bolognaise-like mince that was then tossed through with chilli and holy basil. There was generous amount of smoke from the wok, as well as a tingle from the spices that built on the palate. And you’ll never catch me saying this again but, the slight sweetness of the noodles topped it all off.

I think I may have judged Melbourne too early, and too harshly. Though definitely westernised, Colonel Tan’s nosh is more than Thai enough to keep me happy. The food is also great value – there was heaps of chicken in our curry, and the bolognaise was more beef than noodle. I’m eager to see if their fat duck noodles are as delectable as the one at Cookie. 

And did I mention? Our bill came with these awesome dinosaurs, and they were even kind enough to let me take one home! I named him Jasper.

Rating: 14.5/20 – gnarly thai.
This rating reflects my personal experience at the time of visit. 

Colonel Tan's on Urbanspoon

Monday, 14 April 2014

TGI Fridays

3rd Floor, 313 Melbourne Central
Melbourne, VIC 3000

I’m not one for big nights out. The last time I attempted to have a night on the town ended up with my buttocks freezing off in a skimpy dress, feeling revolting the next morning despite not having eaten or drank very much, and 80 dollars gone goodness knows where. But when TGI Fridays sent me an email wanting to inject some Friday into my Monday, I was happy to accept. 

I admit TGI Fridays was a lot nicer than I had imagined. I was expecting a tacky diner, trying to capitalise on the American theme, but it turned out to be modern and snazzy family-styled diner with a bar for a centrepiece, complete with bottle-juggling mixologists.  The third floor corner view over the state library and Swanston Street was gorgeous. And we were here to undertake the arduous task of tasting a range of premium burgers with the added incentive of cocktails on the side. It’s a tough life. 

Philly Cheese Steak/New York Deli/Twisted Southwest

We were lucky enough to try out the Premium Stacked Burger range right before launch day, and whilst we were still debating over which of the burgers to try, we were served up scaled down versions of all 5 burgers. I could hear my waistband crying.

Philly Cheese Steak

Each of these burgers has a distinct American influence, and the Philly Cheese Steak burger was beefed up with the addition of smoky beef steak and peppers, giving a street-food twist to the diner staple. 

New York Deli/Twisted Southwest

I had been looking forward to the Twisted Southwest, but aside from the crisp curly fries on top, this tasted just like your average cheeseburger. Luckily it was only a handful of jalapenos away from achieving the tex-mex identity it was going for.

The New York Deli was my favourite for the day. Topped with flavoursome sauerkraut, Swiss cheese, deli corned beef, and a whole pickle, it’s like having a Reuben sandwich and a burger at the same time.

French Onion/Mushroom Chicken Mushroom

Conversely, the Mushroom Chicken Mushroom was my least favourite for the day. Whilst the chicken and mushroom soaked in onion balsamic worked well together, it was too dry to be very enjoyable.

The burgers finished strong with the French Onion, a timeless combination of cheese and caramelised onions. It was a rich, satisfying end to our burger tasting adventure. 


And what are burgers without Chips? Our first cup of fries was served with a smoky and spicy ketchup, as well as an addictive horseradish mayo that underscored its creaminess with a pungent heat. But then they brought out some more sauces, and we couldn’t say no to a second serve of chips to go with a sweet honey mustard that Chris adored, and a sticky, smoky, and spicy Jack Daniel’s sauce, flown all the way from America.  

Pink Punk Cosmo/Electric Lemonade

June Bug

Hawaiian Volcano

The jolly bunch at TGI Fridays also did a marvellous job of trying to get us drunk with not only drink vouchers, but also a selection of cocktail samples. Throughout the night, we managed to try (not finish!) the Pink Punk Cosmo, Electric Lemonade, June Bug, and Hawaiian Volcano. Whilst they weren’t the pinnacle of complex and imaginative cocktails, they were all invariably delicious, especially... all of them. I had to get the waiter to take them away after a bit so I didn't guzzle them down and fall off my stool.

TGI Fridays has their target audience worked out, and it’s easy to see why they’ve been around for 18 years.  By combining an indulgent American menu, affordable cocktails, and a vibe that makes Monday feel like Friday, it is entirely understandable why everyone would want to be coming here after a long day at work.

Rating: 13/20 – fatty Friday.
This rating reflects my personal experience at the time of visit.
Sweet and Sour Fork dined as a guest of TGI Fridays.

TGI Fridays on Urbanspoon

Thursday, 10 April 2014


64 Burwood Rd 
Hawthorn, VIC 3122

Maybe it doesn’t sound like it, but working full-time, studying part-time and blogging is a lot of hard work. No wonder poor Ming needs some down time here and there. So what better way to lighten the load than with a guest post? That’s right - it’s Chris again, back to lend a helping hand!

Japanese food has something for everyone. Long ago, if Ming were to suggest sushi for dinner, my reaction would be one of horror. Now, I can rest safe in the knowledge that sushi for Ming is entirely likely to mean some delicious Japanese curry for me. So, having completed her required 100 scripts dispensed without fault at work, I was in no position to argue with Ming when she opted to dine at Ocha2Go one night after work.

Ocha2Go is a small restaurant only a stone’s throw from Hawthorn station. The few wait staff had their hands full with a constant stream of takeaway orders, so we had plenty of time to peruse the menu and chat before our food arrived.

Sunshine Roll ($11)

First to arrive was the Sunshine Roll ($11). As someone who generally avoids sushi, I found this more enjoyable than I expected – perhaps it was something about the sticky texture of the rice and salmon roe that appealed to me. The sushi itself was nothing to rave about, though I thought it was nicely presented and held together well, which is always welcome for a chopstick amateur like myself.

Ocha2Go's Beef and Vegetable Curry ($16.5)

Ocha2Go's Beef and Vegetable Curry ($16.5)

Next up was the Ocha2Go’s Beef and Vegetable Curry ($16.5), served with miso soup. It was not as rich as other curries I’ve had, but I enjoyed the mild flavour of the sauce complementing the wonderfully tender beef.  The miso soup tasted more of soy than I’d like, so I left most of that to Ming this time around.

Norimaki Roll Combo ($8.5)

Meanwhile, Ming further satisfied her sushi craving with the Norimaki Roll Combo ($8.5), a selection of small tuna, cucumber, salmon, and avocado rolls. To be 100% honest, there’s not much more I can say about these - they tasted exactly like they sound, which is to say a small mouthful of rice with the hint of your chosen filling.

Ocha2Go’s service was delightfully pleasant, forgiving the fact that they seemed woefully understaffed on the night of our visit. We were slightly underwhelmed by the food, but all in all we enjoyed our time there as a relaxed, casual, yet nourishing dinner.

Rating: 12/20
This rating reflects my (or in this case, Chris’) personal experience at the time of visit. 

Ocha2go on Urbanspoon

Monday, 7 April 2014


347 Flinders Lane
Melbourne, VIC 

Full time work and study are kicking my buttocks (eep!), so a quick one today about The Carbs the Intern Pharmacist Sorely Needed. 

It’s amazing what Chris can come up with when I ask him to sniff out a place for us to have dinner. After finding several restaurants that have been filed away for better times than a Wednesday night, I settled on Vapiano for a bellyful of pizza and pasta. 

Situated over 2 storeys, Vapiano is swish like a hotel buffet. Everyone gets issued a swipe card with $75 of credit (to be paid off at the end of the meal), then it’s time to proceed to the cook-to-order stations for all your Italian food needs. There is a dizzying sense of freedom involved in all of this.

Fettuccini Bolognese ($16.9)

Our Fettuccini Bolognese ($16.9) is a lot thicker and heavier than what we’re used to, but the peppery, meaty sauce went down a treat with the generous shaving of parmesan. The pasta itself was a bit clumpy, and definitely past al dente. 

Caprese Pizza ($16.9)

The Caprese Pizza ($16.9) ticked all the right boxes, with a crisp, puffy base and plenty of cheese. Shame the lack of flavour in the basil was a downer, even if we could pluck more from the pots of it that grew on the table. Didn’t stop us from eating the whole thing though, crust and all.

Brace yourself – more badly written posts and comfort food are coming!

Rating: 13/20 – necessary comforts.
This rating reflects my personal experience at the time of visit. 

Vapiano on Urbanspoon